I asked for it
by Amvmaster
Summary: The welcome to One Piece shouldn't have included being stranded at sea on a door, too bad though since the ROB that put me here had a sense of humor. A really questionable sense of humor but in her defense I more or less asked for this to happen to me, literally. Self Insert with slight crossover themes here and there.


**Hey I'm Amvmaster and this is well something I came up with a week ago after a wild thought or three and well here we are.**

**also yes this SI is actually heavily inspired by the the story of This Bites, if you haven't read it I recommend you check it out cause that is pretty much the level I want to work this fic up to.**

**other than that hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Jackson D. Holic: I'm boooooooooooooooooooooooored!

Who: Oh no he's at it again, jackson for the love of god don't do it!

Jackson D. Holic: I'mma do it

Who:Jackson No don't!

Jackson D. Holic: Jackson yes!

Who: and hes at it again.

_Robby Of Boston has joined the chat_

Who: Oh who is this?

_Robby Of Boston has changed his nickname to R.O.B_

Jackson D. Holic:... I don't know if this guys for real or not?

Who: I'm actually not too sure either.

R.O.B: Hello I heard you were interested in a taste of _Adventure_

Who: Nah I'm good i got dinner in the oven

Jackson D. Holic: … What kind of adventure you talking about?

Who: Jackson no

R.O.B: the type of adventure you'll have in the world where sanity will be warped and where adventure is the key to everything!

Jackson D. Holic: One Piece?

R.O.B: right on the dot there!

Jackson D. Holic: Can I change of clothes before going?

R.O.B: Sure I don't see why not.

Jackson D. Holic: Sweet when will I be jumping in?"

R.O.B: right now

Jackson D. Holic: What?

_Jackson D. Holic has left the chat_

Who:...

R.O.B: so where would you like to go?

_Who has left the chat_

R.O.B: damn thought I could snatch another

_**Linebreak**_

Urrrrgh w-where am I?

I shifted my hands around feeling whatever the hell I was laying on, damn it was smooth, hard and… is that a door knob?

Eyes quickly opening I quickly sat up and looked around only to see a large body of water with my only floatation device being a door.

"...Why am I on a door?" I questioned out loud, it was a simple question but context was very much needed as to why exactly was I at sea on a door of all things?

"I feel like I'm either hallucinating on peyote or a ROB really did send me to one piece." I mumbled out. I held out my hand to test the water so to speak annnnd yeah thats some high grade realistic water.

"Soooooo I'm on a door at sea and in One Piece, Murphy's law is going to have fun with me." I mumbled out feeling like testing out if OP really does embody the Law of everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

"Meh fuck it," I said shrugging to myself, "What could go wrong?"

…

…

…

"Huh guess nothing went-"

_Splash!_

"-Whooooa shit!" I yelped hands latching onto my door's frame as the sea exploded in front of me, while I held on to dear life as the light waves pushed my more than useless vessel backwards; I watched as a huge serpent head popped out through the water.

"Huh Murphy got an upgrade." I whispered out watching how the giant serpent looked down and glared at me.

_Roooooooooooooaaaar!_

The serpent's roar powerfully pushed me and my door backwards along the surface of the sea.

"...Ow my ears." I winced, now hearing a loud ringing going through ear, wow that's one fucking roar.

"Wonder if he'll be interested in joining a heavy metal band?" I voiced out of curiosity before the ringing finally stopped.

Looking over at the serpent it merely snorted at my direction before turning it's head around and dived back under the sea.

_Splash!_

With another splash the serpent left me with small waves pushing my door away.

"Hooooly shiiiiiit." I breathed out before laying back down on the door, holy shit that was close I could have been eaten then and there.

"Fuck Murphy, you're scary." I mumbled out loud, looking directly up at the sky I saw the blue sky was clear of any and all clouds leaving me with a nice warm sun shining directly over me.

Well it's not all bad, at least as long as I don't get capitalized or anything, which wouldn't really at all surprise me, but hey I'd like just go for about half an hour before everything went to shit.

_**Linebreak**_

**30 minutes later**

"...Has it been 30 minutes yet?" I wondered to myself?

_Ring ring ring_

Wait isn't that my phone?

_Ring ring ring_

Quickly maneuvering my hand I reached into my vibrating pocket and pulled out my phone, my lovely Huawei Nova 2i.

_Ring ring ring_

"Oh shit." quickly remembering the call I swiped to the green portion of my phone and place my phone to my ear, "Uh, hello?"

"Hello there! I'm Robby your absolutely lovely ROB that has sent you to the world of One Piece." Came a fairly cheery voice that instantly reminded me of my friends tendency to talk in a really cute fashion.

"Are you… a girl?" I questioned, unsure if this was just a girl or some dude playing around with his voice or not.

"Yep, but don't ask about my age cause you may find a snake in your pants!"

…

…

…

"Please don't." I instantly replied, re adjusting my shirts collar.

"I won't, I won't, still I must give you your survival tools of sorts." Hearing that, I scrunch my face up in confusion.

"Survival tools?" I questioned.

"Yep, just the basics like for example making your phone indestructible, water proofed and have unlimited power and well your ace in the hole." Hearing that I quickly took a look at my phone in curiosity seeing as how the battery Icon had a charge symbol over it.

"Ace in the hole?" I questioned, confused about the so called 'Ace in the hole'.

"Just think about it like this, you can either sell it or eat it." Wait what?

"Oof-what the hell?" I yelped out feeling something hit me in the stomach, leaning up I quickly looked at what was thrown at me and found a black and blue blotchy looking fruit.

"Is that a-"

"Devil fruit, yep pretty much other than that I've already given you your change of clothes so have fun!" Hearing the phone hang up, left me to now look at my state of dress.

Instead of my usual state of dress of a t shirt and shorts I now wore a dark blue bomber jacket, a black shirt under it, gray cargo pants and a pair of black and white runners.

"...What the fuck kind of shit did I get myself into?" I wondered out loud to myself before laying back down on the door with a frown on my face.

Holding my phone over my head I simply stared at it's black reflection and saw my blank face staring right back at me.

I was now in the middle of One piece with an indestructible phone, a devil fruit and all while laying on top of a floating door that I'm pretty sure is a reference or something.

_Growl!_

"And I'm hungry great just fucking great, what I really needed now over all this shit was some damn hunger pains, fucking A just fucking A." I complained to myself whilst slipping my phone back into my pocket, this was just what I needed too to be starving and in the middle of the ocean.

Someone either is going to pick me up or I'm deader than this here door knob.

Also not to mention just cause it's warm doesn't mean I'm not going to start sweating or anything, damn this heat is going to kill me unless I get something to drink.

"Such misfortune." I mumbled out in annoyance.

"Heeeeeey!"

Huh?

"Heeeeeeeey!"

Tilting my head up and turning my head to the side I blinked in surprise when I saw a goat headed ship coming towards me.

"Heeeeey! You ok there!?"

Well look at that looks like my ride's here.

"Hey! Help!" I yelled out waving my hands over, not before quickly pocketing the devil fruit in my pocket first of course.

"I wonder how they are going to pick me up?" I wondered out loud, curious to see how-oh wait in coming rubber hand nevermind I know this is going down.

"Oh shi-IIIIIIIIIIIIT!" I yelled when the hand stretched out and wrapped itself around my body, I felt the wind and air literally slam into my face as I was pulled into the sky and headed directly towards the goat headed ship.

Oh I could already tell that this was going to hurt like a mother f-

_Slam!_

-ucker.

"Ooooooooow." I moaned out, I felt my body ache out in pain, actually now that I think about it how am I not knocked out right now?

"Luffy what the hell did you do this time!?" I heard a girl shriek out.

Blinking my eyes open I slowly rolled myself over onto my stomach, despite my everything hurting was still hurting.

"Wha-who the hell are you?" I heard the same girl shriek.

"Uuuuh dizzy and in pain." Was my smart ass reply, slowly pushing myself up I stumbled for a couple steps before literally falling on top of some wooden railing.

"Shishishishi that was fun!" I heard someone giggle out, my mind was trying to get itself around the fact I just survived what was known as a concussion causing injury.

"Think I'm throw-_BLAAAARGH_!" And now I was throwing up what little I had left in my stomach out into the sea, absolutely fucking wonder shit right there.

"At least throwing up overboard." I heard the girl deadpanned.

"I try-_Blagh_!" I said throwing one more time over the rail and into the sea before more or less collapsing onto my knees, turning my body around so I sat my back against the railing, I finally had a look at my saviors and they were exactly who I thought they were.

A bunch of fucking lunatics.

"Hi… I'm Hamish, but my mates call me Jackson." I said with a small wave towards the girl and the grinning rubber boy.

Oh this was going to be fun to explain, that or I just bullshit my way through I mean I didn't get my PHD BS for nothing now did I?

"Luffy where did this guy come from?" The girl I recognized as Nami questioned the one the only Monkey D. Luffy.

"Shishishi I saw him at sea and helped him." Luffy chuckled fondly, I rubbed my eyes trying to get rid of the small thumping headache I was currently feeling.

"Thank you by the way." I thanked Luffy.

"_Sigh_ really Luffy what are we going to do with him? Drop him off at the closest island?" Nami questioned Luffy who just sat there staring at me.

"Ma how bout joining my crew?"

…

…

…

"Eh?"

"Wha-Luffy what the hell are you doing!?" Nami more or less yelled out my inner thoughts, what the hell was Luffy thinking I just got here and he's already asking me to join the crew?

Do I have a hidden piece of sea prism stone on me or something? Cause that's the only way I can think that would cause Luffy to suddenly ask me to join his crew.

"Shishi ma ma, Come on it'll be fun what do ya say?" I heard Luffy ask once again, I just gave him the blankest looks I have ever given anyone.

"_Grrr_ how about you listen to me instead of ignoring me!" Nami suddenly yelled out, her hands quickly latching onto both of Luffy's cheeks and stretching them as far as she could.

"_Yawn _hey what's going on over ther-huh who are you?" Hearing the sudden new voice come up I looked over to see well the sword user himself, Zoro.

"Apparently to this guy over here," I paused for a second to point at Luffy. "I'm your new crewmate."

"I disagree with that! And don't go around accepting crap that casually!" Nami yelled her face turning into a shark tooth mutation that I would usually see in the OP anime.

Huh I thought that was just in the anime, turns out it's an actual thing who would have thunk it?

"Huh, ok I'm Zoro." Zoro casually introduced himself.

"Don't you start too!" Nami yelled back at Zoro.

"Hamish, my mates call me Jackson." I introduced myself casually ignoring Nami.

"_Grrrr_ Fine forget it, I don't care anymore call me when you see land, I'm going to go back inside and check storage." Nami said growling with every step she took.

"...Well she's an absolutely positive one." I said, my head no longer present but my hunger was still there.

"Meh she's usually more of the yelling type anyway." I heard Zoro comment ever so casually not even noticing how Nami turned her head over her shoulder just glare at him.

"Uuuuuuh what's going on anyway?" I questioned aloud wondering when or where the hell was this here crew was going to.

"We are heading to Loguetown, where we are most likely are going to be dropping you off." I heard Zoro exclaim.

"Aaaaaw but hes apart of the crew." Luffy moaned.

"Well until he can prove himself trustful I'm not going to be trusting this guy anytime soon." Zoro said, huh that's somewhat personality change.

"And here I thought you liked me." I casually commented, Zoro more or less ignored and left me alone with Luffy.

"Why do you want me to join your crew?" I questioned Luffy, I was more or less confused why he did suddenly decide this.

"I dunno." That was a quick and unexpected.

"You serious right now?" I blankly questioned, really I should have seen that coming I really should have.

"Shishishi I dunno you just seem kinda interesting." Luffy said, his expression not even changing from his happy go lucky grin. "Ma I'm hungry, Sanji cook something I'm hungry!" Luffy yelled out, jumping onto his feet and running off to follow his stomach's wishes.

…

…

…

What the hell just happened?

**Chapter 1 end**


End file.
